The Inhibited Grief

When i first heard this sad news, i was busy dealing with my Final Examination. Now, the exam is over, and i have the highspeed UniFi.. The sad news was Matt Devlin in L&O:UK dies.. =(
I am so shocked when i first heard this news a few weeks back..
Yesterday, i had decided to youtube some videos of his. I wanted to know how he dies.. I know he was gunned down while saving Aleesha and a witness of crime, but how?
So, while i was looking for the right video, i bumped into this video..



This video is very sad.. I feel like crying, but i didn't..
Then i clicked to another video..



This one is rather sad.. Poor Matt.. I am so sad!!! Why that must be Matt?
Later, i clicked at another video, and this one had inhibited my grief for Matt..



I burst into laughter while i am intending to burst into tears.. I was confused with my own feelings..

I really like Matt.. Law & Order: UK is the only law & order series that i watch consistently.. Matt is one of the reasons why i watched the series, the other reasons is the accents.. Luckily, Universal Channel haven't yet arrive at the particular episode where Matt dies, but.... He will..
Anyway, i hope, losing Matt in the series will not make me stop watching the series.. Seriously, i learned a lot from the series, although i didn't understand half of what they are saying, especially, the "law"(coppers)